Date Number #19

The Stones Cry Out

I have a tradition in my faith walk to go to the beach and throw stones into the ocean. Typically, I go and do this when I am struggling with something or having a difficult time surrendering my will to Him.  I write what I want/need to surrender on the rock and throw it into the sea.  Often times it seems that it coincides with a break-up.  There is some humor in this.  Maybe not at the time, but in retrospect it kind of makes me laugh how God works.  It’s interesting how the Holy Spirit speaks through these times and how He keeps me rooted in His word.

My date with Jesus is at a hotel in Del Mar, CA where I would have gotten married back in 2005.  There is absolutely no coincidence in this whatsoever.  This date involves Abba comforting me after having to break up with a guy I was dating for a short six months, but who I was pretty smitten with.  Jesus and I are on the patio of the hotel’s restaurant and I have zero appetite because my stomach is churning and my tender heart is broken. I sat and lamented in my journal as I often do and I was brought to Psalm 18:19 which says, “He brought me out into a spacious place; He rescued me because He delighted in me.”  That word was such confirmation to my soul that I had done the right thing by breaking up with him.  How ironic that I thought that he and I were going to be staying the night in our cozy, bungalow room celebrating his visit to San Diego.  Turns out it ended up being a sweet retreat with Abba.  There was no pressure; I was untethered and consequently,  I felt a sense of freedom and a resurgence of hope.  Don’t get me wrong; It didn’t all come at once.  It took time letting my heart surrender and let go.  I had to let my hardened heart soften to the warm blanket of love our heavenly Father had waiting for me.

C.S.  Lewis has a quote that says, “There are far, far better things ahead than any we leave behind.”  This overnight would be one of those times that I would search for some stones in the morning, put them in my bucket and toss them as far as I could into the Pacific ocean.  It serves as a tangible, ceremonial way in which I can set my heart free of any encumbrances I may be holding onto.  I encourage you to go and do this for yourself. It does the heart good to let go!  It can even signify a rite of passage as you  move forward in relationship, vocation or any other of life’s trials that you might write on your rock.  I have also done this when I’ve been struggling with my finances, with a decision or a particular sin issue in my life.

Do you feel a tug in your heart today prompting you to let go of something?  Is there a heart issue or sin that has been holding you back from your future?  What would leaving behind a particular relationship, job or trial you are facing feel like?  Are you seeking absolute freedom from any encumbrances in your life? Sisters, there is nothing better than feeling true freedom even if you feel broken temporarily.  It is so worth surrendering your will to the Father.  Let us spend some time in prayer for surrendered hearts.

“Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”  John 8:32

Dear Jesus~You are my first love.  You formed and fashioned me to put you above all things.  I come to you now feeling sad about my current circumstances.  I feel conflicted about what to do.  I want to be in a place where there is nothing holding me back from your best.  I declare that there’s nothing I hold onto.  As I toss these stones I surrender all into your healing waters.  I cling to you and your supernatural comfort and strength. Abba, will you infuse me with wisdom and clarity so that I know the kind of freedom you offer? Fill me anew and afresh with your spirit.  I want to serve you all of my days.  I desire to do the right thing in regards to this decision.  Thank you in advance for your divine rescue.  Please help me to leave this behind me and help me to find my way. You are the perfect compass.  You are my refuge and hiding place.  May I sing a new song today of your love and guidance.  My life is in your hands.  I love you, Jesus.  Amen