Date Number #20

On Longing

There is an ebb and flow to writing and for me it has been a few days of feeling a brief writing slump.  I do believe there has been some purpose in it, as this topic has been percolating in my soul.  I feel like as a single woman I could pen a book about longing itself.  There is so much to say about it when your goal is to long for God and not for other things:  a mate, worldly possessions, the right car, a new wardrobe, ect.  Proverbs 13:12 says, “Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.” Unfortunately, in our culture it is more common to see the longing for more stuff and the more we accumulate it seems the emptier we become.  I am guilty of this very thing: STUFF and it hasn’t made my heart happy or more content.  For today’s date I’m noshing on Southern BBQ at a new restaurant on Shem Creek in Charleston, SC.  The atmosphere is loud and bustling with a vibrant crowd of people.  Not exactly the best setting for writing in peace, but it’s people-watching at it’s best and I am still able to get some work accomplished.  Jesus is talking to me today about longing for HIM.  He is reminding me of all the idols we have in our lives that get in the way of loving and serving Him fully with the utmost of attention.

I believe there is such a connection on how we have experienced love and how it feels to long and who we long for.  I have touched on this in a previous entry and it is vital that we think about our early attachment figures and the level of security they provided.  For example, if you lacked attachment figures in your early years, it may be likely that you attract lovers that may offer the same kind of insecure or anxious attachment.  This is another reason why it is crucial for us to spend the time doing the soul-care work we need to do in order to be as whole as possible as a single.  Through my own journey of dating I have watched the correlation closely between how healthy I was at the time and the kind of man I attracted.  My hope for you is that you long for God above all else.  I have finally gotten to a point in my life that I don’t pine after a man and I want that for you too.

Is there something you’re chasing after that isn’t Jesus?  What idols may need to be dismantled by the Spirit to free you? Do you know that you can free yourself from idols right now by repenting and returning to Him?  Do you know what type of attachment style you possess?  Take a moment to examine your own heart and history for the answers to these questions.

“O God, you are my God, earnestly I seek you; my soul thirst for you, my body longs for you, in a dry and weary land where there is no water.” Psalm 63:1

Dear Jesus~ Thank you for seeing and hearing my longings.  I am confident that they aren’t hidden from you.  I have tasted and felt the goodness of fulfilled longing in my work and family and I so desire it in a love relationship.  Thank you that you are the author of the best love stories.  I set my heart back in your capable hands in this moment and I trust you.  I wait and listen now for you to speak to me tenderly.  I accept where I am today and I want no barrier or idol to exist between you and I.  I fully return to you, Jesus.  Forgive me for the stuff in my life that simply weighs me down.  Forgive me for chasing after people, places and things that aren’t of you.  By your Holy Spirit will you strip away any and all idols in my life.  May the fullness of your tangible love for me heal the parts of me that remain broken.  May I thirst and long for you and only you this day. You are a good Father.  In Jesus name I pray.  Amen